When a couple is newly married, the last thing on their mind are the possibility of marital problems, arguments, disagreements, and other such issues. Rather, they are happy, deeply in love, and looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together.
While this might seem like a fairy tale outlook for the couple’s future, for some couples they do remain happy and deeply in love. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, we eventually discover marriage is not necessary how we pictured it in our minds.
You might start to notice little things your spouse is doing that annoys you that you previously overlooked. For instance, they tend to chew food with their mouth open or make loud sound while yawning. While these might be little things, they can eventually cause you to get upset and irate to the point you blow up at your spouse.
You may also notice there has been a change in the frequency of intimacy and sex. When you first got married you and your spouse were intimate almost every night. Slowly over time, you gradually shifted into a routine of three or four times a week.
However, within three years of getting married, you have noticed things have continued to decline. You are lucky if your spouse wants to get intimate and have sex once a month. When you do have sex, it only lasts until they are satisfied, leaving you sexually frustrated.
While we only touched on a few issues married couples seek counselling for, keep in mind there can be a wide array of issues that could damage a strong marriage. Ignoring problems and issues and not addressing them in a constructive manner could further degrade the bond you share with your spouse.
Yelling, screaming, getting physical, or throwing objects at each other does nothing to solve the actual things that need to be discussed. Marriage counselling can help provide a safe-haven where each person is free to speak whatever is on their mind without any judgements in individual or couple’s sessions.
The goal of counselling is not to tell the couple what to do to fix their problems, but to guide them. The couple needs to agree on what methods of communications will work best for them. For intimacy and sex issues, the couple needs to figure out what has changed, why it changed, and what they can do to resolve these things.
If you have started to notice minor issues and problems in your marriage and are having difficulties discussing them with your spouse, then it is time to seek counselling. Marriage counselling could save your marriage if you and your spouse are committed to saving it.
For more information about marriage counselling or sexual therapy counselling in Toronto, or to schedule a consultation appointment, please feel free to contact Ellen Starr Marriage Counselling at 416-488-3102 today!