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When is the Ideal Time to Seek Marriage Counseling

When is the Ideal Time to Seek Marriage Counseling

When you’re in the first years of marriage, it may seem that there are no ups and downs – just two people living in wedded bliss forever. However, even if you’re lucky enough to have the kind of marriage where you always agree and never need compromise, the longer you’re together, the more likely you will disagree about something important.

When this happens, it can be helpful to get some marriage counselling from an unbiased third party to sort things out before they escalate into full-blown arguments or resentment about one partner’s behaviour toward the other.

When should you see a marriage counsellor?

Whether you’ve been married for six months or decades, marriage counselling can be incredibly beneficial to your relationship when done correctly. If you’re wondering when to get marriage counselling, many circumstances call for it and should be evaluated case by case. The common warning symptoms are:

  • You’ve Stopped Communicating

Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship, and if you’re not talking anymore, it’s time to seek marriage counselling. Communication doesn’t die spontaneously but gradually because of outside influences or a lack of effort on your part. It might be hard for you to admit that something needs fixing, but just as long as you recognize that something is off, then this should be enough for when to see a marriage counsellor.

  • You’re considering Divorce

It can be hard to tell when it’s time for marriage counselling. When you are considering divorce, see a marriage counsellor first. While the counsellor will not be trying to save your marriage, they could offer insights that might change your mind and approach toward marriage.

It’s always good to seek professional help when you feel confused or upset about something. Sometimes we need outside guidance on how to deal with what life throws at us. When seeking marital help, remember the average length of marriage counselling is 12 sessions. Do not give up if it doesn’t work right away- sometimes couples don’t start seeing progress until midway through the process or even after all sessions have been completed!

  • You’re Fighting All the Time

Fighting all the time, when you and your spouse are barely on speaking terms, or if it seems that one of you has an addiction or a problem, that you never seem to agree on the course of action, a marriage counsellor may be able to help.

While in most other cases, you may consider trying not to wash your inner garments in public and resolve the matters privately, always fighting and not communicating is a typical case of when to seek marriage counselling.

  • You’re both Unhappy

If you ask when to see a marriage counsellor, it could be because you’re unhappy and want help working through your problems. If you feel like there’s nothing left in your relationship and you’re both unhappy, it may be time for marriage counselling.

  • You have different Life Goals.

Let’s face it– we all have unique life goals, and when they are not aligned, it can lead to problems. If you feel your spouse has different plans for their lives than you do, then when to see a marriage counsellor may be worth discussing.

A therapist will help you identify the areas of contention in your relationship and work with both spouses on how to better communicate with each other.

  • You’re in a Sexless Marriage

When one partner has a stronger sexual desire than the other, it can lead to a sexually frustrated spouse. This can have negative consequences on your relationship, including but not limited to: depression, lack of intimacy with your partner, and possible infidelity.

If you are experiencing mismatched interest in intimacy in your relationship, it may be time for you and your partner to seek marriage counselling.

  • You have Trust Issues.

Trust issues can spell disaster for any relationship built on loyalty. Marriage suffers when one or both people do not trust their partner. It is worth seeking marriage counselling if your faith in your partner has faltered and you feel uneasy about your future. This way, you’ll be able to figure out why you aren’t trusting your partner, what steps are necessary to gain that trust back, and how to work through the problems that come with it.

Final Words

Finding the right time to seek marriage counselling can be difficult, but it’s important. When considering when to see a marriage counsellor, consider whether you feel stuck and need guidance. And if you feel like you don’t know where to start, we at Ellen Starr Marriage Counselling will help you through every step of the process. We provide expert advice on marriage counselling to help you make your decision easier when deciding the next step in your marriage.

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What Our Clients Say

Marc (August 2013, 5 stars)

I’ve been seeing Ellen since 2009 and the experience has been incredibly valuable. I first came to her because I had a lot of doubts about a relationship in. She helped me through a big break up and the rebound afterwards. We even maintained our sessions for a number of years afterwards. Because of her I’m much more in tune with my emotions and needs. I highly recommend her services for anyway with relationship and intimacy difficulties

April 6, 2016

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